Let's keep dreaming, ne?

Well, I have school soon. Depressing. I woke up, and guess what... my dad just laid down on the couch to watch me get ready. How unfair is that!?

Going to school is so much harder here. Not because it's significantly different or anything... it starts later (yay!) but... I just feel very lonely and stressed when I'm there.

Nothing pleases me much anymore and I'm always so irritated. I snap really easily. I'm lonely.

Listen to me complain, pfft. It's not like I have a life threatening disease. But... "The worst pain is your pain", right?

Listening to J-Pop (SickOnion.com) is definently the thing to do in the mornings. ^_^ Wee! Go... (looks at now playing thing) Mika Nakashima!

A drabble about Lemia! I'm sure you can tell, but it's regarding the time she spent in the jail cell with the mask on her. It's 172 words... oops!

( Lemia )

Everyone on your friendslist gets to request a drabble (a real drabble: 100 words) from you. In return, they have to post this in their journal and write a drabble for you. Post all fandoms you're willing to write for. Your friends can pick a relationship, a story arc, a missing scene, or pretty much anything they want, unless the author has previously mentioned that they will not write it. They comment with what they want, and you write drabbles and post it in your LiveJournal.

What I will Drabble for
Lunar: Silver Star Story
Lunar: Eternal Blue
Harvest Moon (haha, I'm serious)
Naruto
Magic Knight Rayearth
Aria

I will also do original stories if you give enough details.

Oh, and you don't need to give me a drabble back if you don't want to. Time to go get mine from K'Arthur~!

I've gotten into a new anime! ROD the TV! It can either stand for "Read or Die" or "Read or Dream". There is no proper one for the TV series because the producers wanted to leave it open. There's a book series of Read or Die and a manga series of Read or Dream and a OVA of ROD.

^_^"

I have a lot of pent up energy! I need to go run around somewhere or something! Maybe it's from watching cute Anita-chan run around and kick but with peices of paper?! Wam! Wam!

I'll need to have some avatars of her next.


Having money is so... fun! I can think of things to buy and maybe commit to it. Before I'd just kind of go, "Ohhh" but never ever have enough money for it.

I bought two manga the other day. Volume 3 of Aria and volume 2 of Genshiken. Woo! My manga collection grows ever larger with each passing day! -nod!-

I need to get it organized though... and some of them are left back in Newfoundland. Like numbers 1 and 3 of Fruits Basket (I only have 1 and 3 because I had a bad copy of number 2 and traded it in to get # 3 and never got around to buying # 2 again). I also want to finish some of the other ones. Kare Kano for example. I should finish that one. Then I'll start to finish Marmalade Boy. But Aria and Genshiken are first on my list right now.

I want to get back into video games. And I want to buy some fighters! Anyone know any cute ones?

So I'm home sick today. Mom keeps thinking I could have gone. But really, if I could've, I would've. Right? The thing is going to school is really hard. I just don't feel right there. Regardless of how many people are there, I feel lonely. Is it worse to feel lonely when alone or lonely in a crowed of people? Or are they both equally awful?

I'm currently playing Magic Knight Rayearth for the SNES on my computer. It's... unbelievably easy. If you get past the monsters popping up every few seconds and the incrediablly slow walking. Haha. Anyway, it's REALLY cute looking... I love it. I'll need to put up some screenshots sometime!

Finished two KakaIru oneshots. Ohohohohoho! It was for Kaka-sensei's birthday which I missed. -gasp!- But I made up for it... or soemthing like that. (I'm such a geek, I know! >.>")

I need to head over to K'Arthurville sometime soon. I always find myself wondering where to go and stuff and then... I never think of going there! ^^"

Well... that's about it! (Two entries in a row! -gasp!-)

I've been busy. So let's began the rant, raving, and journaling, huh?

To start it off I'll tell you my destination--Boston. Then Hartford. Then Washington.

So, we need to stop in at Halifax to transfer to another flight which will take us to Boston where we'll be picked up by Aunt Sherri. That's fine!

2:30 AM. Finally falls alseep.

3:30 AM. Gets woken up. Blargh.

4:30 AM. We're getting ready to leave and I open the trunk and... it breaks. A hinge breaks and it falls lopsided. I scream, "I didn't do it!" and bustle around wondering what we're going to do.

5:00 AM. We arrive at St. John's airport thanks to Cathy, who picked us up and drove us out. Then.. we find the Line up of Hell.

6:00 AM. We're starting to panic now, considering our flight allegedly leaves in ten minutes. We're still waiting in the line up and we find out why it's so long. Seems that people couldn't get out because of Halifax being a bitch and all other kind of crap... So we have two days worth of people crowding the airport.

6:05 AM. We're pulled out of the line up to the front and as we're checking in... we're told to go get checked for customs. So we run over to the scanner thing and... no ones there. Yay?

6:10 AM. Someone's finally come to check us. We ask about our flight and we're told that the plane is waiting because of everything falling apart.

6:15 AM. And we're off! We board the plane at a run and take off.

9:35 AM. We begin to realize we haven't eaten... at all. I had bought one bagel back in St. John's and somehow it was divided between my mother and I. Went far, that bagle did! As we clutch our stomachs in pain we...

9:50 AM. ...reach Halifax. But we can't land. Nope. So off we are! To...

10:45 AM. ...Moncton?

11:15 AM. After half an hour of waiting on the plane we're told we can't get into Halifax because of fog and the runway being under construction. We're all told to get off the plane. A lot of grumbling is heard and my mother rushes off to...

11:30 AM. ...get us a plane out of there! A small plane that seats 18 is willing to take us (and some others) to Halifax.

12:00 AM. We reach Halifax and go scurrying around for our flight. Can they day get better?

I'm hungry, so I'll continue later. See ya!

1. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you.

2. I will then tell what song reminds me of you.

3. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, I'll tell you what it would be.

4. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.

5. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.

6. I will tell you what color you remind me of.

7. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.

8. Put this in your journal.

It's slow going with the coloring of KittyBee I can't do it for long periods of time because my hand gets cramped. I don't wanna get any injuries, yo! At first I wasn't sure if the light green color would suit her, and if I should change to pink... but the more I get green through, the more I like it! Oooh, orange arm bands would be cute, huh? I want it to be kind of like a gift to Wayne...

I can't get on the net. Oh, woe is me! And I'm in the middle of exams. Plus, I have itchyness... uh... erm... you know. I just finished my period! Yay! It was light this time (yes!) and uncharacteristicly short.

I wanna talk to Wayne. However, if I call without warning they might get mad. Plus, what would I talk about? The phone says 'Line In Use' so that at least prevents me from trying. Eep! It doesn't anymore. Will I succumb to temptation...?! Must... resist...

Well, As of tomorrow, I'll have been going out with Justin for two weeks! Yup! We began on a Wednesday! The First of June! (Lucky us--it's easy to track! First day of every month is where you count!) I'm not sure where it's going though... But it's not like we're going to get married! It's not like we have that planned! Though, sometimes I wish... oh! I'm being silly. It's not that I wish to be married to Justin it's just that I'd like to be a wife. I don't really know why, it's just... Mm, maybe it's just one of those girlish dreams? We're born with it, maybe?

What else should I write? Hmm, oh yes, I'm playing Lunar again. Justin has Ronfar with him and although I have Hiro... I don't feel like playing from any other disk but Ronfar's! What disk did I originally use, I wonder? Was it the one with Ronfar? Hiro? Lucia? (Do they HAVE a Lucia one?!) I know I used a Leo one. Did I use Lemina for second disk...? I wish that kid hadn't sat on it! Boy, did that make things harder!? But... alls well that ends well! I suppose... (That was a lot of money, yo!)

I remember seeing Lunar 2, the box set, in a store in the village mall. Oh, woe is me! Why didn't mom buy it then? I shall forever wish that it hadn't been so! (But I got the guide book, so... wee?)

I really want to call Wayne. Looking at the phone is making this hard. Go away evil thoughts! His mother is probably home! Aa! I touched the phone! I pressed talk! But I put it down... oh! But... No! Stop it Beechan! Bee strong, Bee strong!

My fingers itch to dial. I can do it with my eyes closed...

But I digress! Summer, and the smell of the air through the window, reminds me of Lunar. It reminds me of drinking so much Juice that we'd mix up two bottles a day in a futile attempt to quence our thirst. And cursing irony that we went through the Red Dragon Cave on the hottest day of the summer! (Is that luck, or what!?) It makes me think of watching the newest season of Sailor Moon with my best friend and brother. (Although, I think it's off the air... [sadness...])

My fanfictions are going good! Chapter Four of 'Red and White Love' and chapter three for 'One House, Two Hearts'. My KakaIru has tons of fans!! Squee! You should see all the comments I got! It's amazing! Weeee! Both on the LJ list and ff.net! It makes me feel very appreciated indeed! But, Naruto is very popular and so is shounen ai. Am I really that surprised?

NOTE! I wrote all of this in WordPad until I could post it here. kekekee!

Yesterday I decided that I didn't want to be friends with Sam anymore. I went around the house and collected all of the things that belonged to her. I felt kind of bad, but... she was really starting to make me hate myself. I know I shouldn't let other people's opinions matter but... constantly being told you're stupid, mean, selfish, inconsiderate and all other things really doesn't help your self-esteem. I know I shouldn't have let it get to me, but... Well, even if I hadn't let it get to me I needed to stop being her friend.

So, the next day, I worried all morning about what I was going to say to her and worrying about if I was mean or something. Lunch time rolled around and I gave Sam her stuff and told her, my head bowed, "I'm sorry Sam, I don't want to be your friend anymore..."

She glares at me and asks whiningly, "What did *I* do!?"

I just continue to stare at my feet, counting all the reasons in my head yet not brave enough to say them. Eventually, Anrea tells her, "She'll come back after lunch and you guys can talk about it, okay? It's too loud here anyway!" Grateful for her excuse, I run as fast as I can and out the door.

I tripped up and fell to the ground began to cry, not liking the feeling of having been mean to someone. Andrea caught up with me along with Katie, and Jess and Jon fell back from the group that had already left before I told Sam. I cuddled up to Andrea, still crying. I hated feeling that way. I hated it a lot. I don't like being mean...

I go to her house, still crying, cuddle up into a blanket, and sit on the couch and sob a little. The rest of them beckon me with food and I go over and eat some bread and cheeswiz. I eventually borrow (steal!) a sweater fom Andi and we go back to school. All the while I wonder, 'Was I too mean? Is she going to talk about me now? Spread bad rumors?'

We get back to school and Brandon (who has a crush on Sam) asks, "What ya do to Sam?"
I ask, "Why? Was she crying?"
"Close to it, I think. On the verge."
"I told her I didn't want to be her friend anymore."
"Why--?"
"Because she made me hate myself and think I was stupid and selfish and mean."

They all accept my reasoning and I search for Sam to do as I said I would--talk to her about it when I get back.

I can't find her till the bell rings--she had been on the computer talking to friends. Why? Wasn't there anyone in school? I'd say some mean things here but... they're mean. Though I want to say them... I'll put them in a private entry if I need to.

So I find her and she says, "I want to know why so I can forget about all of this."

Inside I cringe. Was that all that our friendship meant? Was it just some quick fix for when she was bored? I was so mad! Did she take my feelings for granted?! I hated her so much at that moment!

"You made me feel selfish and mean and stupid."
"But how though? I didn't do anything!" Why didn't you listen to me when I told you that somethings bothered me? Huh?

Later on I find out what she did in homeroom. Michenda comes up to me and says, "Guess who just came into homeroom and yelled out, 'My relationship with Brittany is over and I don't even care!'? Then she threw her bookbag down and told me how you gave her all of the stuff you borrowed. Niiiice!" She then proceeds to give me a highfive. I didn't feel very good about it, though. So she didn't care, huh? So maybe I shouldn't either!

For the first few minutes of Math class I explain what happened and her reaction to my friends. They all tell me that, "If she made you feel that way then you had a reason to stop being friends with her! I would!" Then I go about my day, a little less skipity then usual, but better.

If feels wierd. She won't ask me over anymore. I won't have to worry about her being offended when I hang out with someone else. She won't say hi to me anymore. She won't meet me at my locker and try to convince me to come over anymore. She won't RP with me anymore. She won't tell me about Naruto anymore. She won't keep asking, 'What's wrong?' in that voice that kinds of makes me want to punch her but thank her for worrying at the same time. She won't call me anymore, so I won't hear that creepy ring I gave to her number anymore.

It kind of makes me sad. This is a part of my life that I'm ending. Maybe it's for the better?

I just hurt the most special person in my life. I could tell him everything. He was awesome. I love him so much. But it doesn't matter, does it?

I've made such a huge mistake. He hates me for sure.

I hate myself.

I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot.

I want to die. Everytime I thought of suicide I'd think of him and... how happy we might be. I don't care about being single. I care about him. I want him to be happy again. I don't want him to cry. I don't want him to hate me.

But I'm so selfish... i couldn't see I would hurt him.

I'm going to cut my hair uneven and short and be a hermit. I hate myself.

I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself.

I don't care who sees this. Even those people who don't know me. Whatever, just whatever. I don't want to be happy anymore. I don't deserve it.

I cannot find LUNAR 2.

I know, I know, "How could you?!" But it's only the first disk. Unfortunately, I hardly have any worthy saves on the second or third disks... and yeah. Woe is me. I'm trying to find it but... alas! To no avail!

I wish I had never brought it over to Sam's. She didn't even like it!! In a household with only one Lunar fan... it is TOTALLY under appreciated here. Tim's never even played L2... ;_; -sigh- If only I had never brought it anywhere.

Yep. So I can't find it and I WANT to play it. I'm so obsessed I've had multiple dreams of me finding it and I'm reading the official strategy guide because its funny... and its Lunar.

I'm moving to Alberta. I'd like to get a horse. Only one of these things, I know, will ever come true...

I'm getting a horse! Not. -sigh-

Woe is me, ne? Well, that's all my melodrama for today! Look forward to my next installme: "Crazy Fan Poodles and You!"

(I'm getting really into Runaway Princess again. And I think I might change the name. Who knows? Well... things are coming along great! The characters are very solid in my mind now.)

If you and I were alone in my room right now, what would we be doing? (Keeping it realistic, of course)

Now, post this in your LJ, and see what people want to do with you.

I want to have one of those spammy things...;_;

SPAM HERE!

...
...
...
Please?

I've been through a lot of schools in my life I went to one called Beaconsfield for a year and met someone... a friend very special to me.

We were sitting in Science class. I can still remember it well. Like yesterday, they say, and so do I.

Mr. Gulliver was sitting down, doing stuff on his computer as we did seat work. Ashley, the good friend of mine, was sitting sideways on her seat.

I remember I was drifting off into space, which, in this case was the chalkboard. When all of a sudden she taps my shoulder, laughing. I look at her puzzled. She points down to between her legs while laughing.

There had been GUM underneath the top of her desk. And appearently... it still had some life in it! It had begun to fall down into a long string and was moving back and forth between her legs! (Stop getting dirty thoughts, boys!)

We began to roooar with laughter. We were like, "WHAT THE HECK?!" as it kept swinging there, appearently enjoying our attention.

I asked her how it happened and she shrugged, unknowing. People began to look at us strangly, and Mr. Gulliver aked us to calm down. We didn't care. In this carefree laugh we could enjoy ourselves. We wanted the bliss to be neverending. The laughter kept coming.

We laughed the whole class through.

Its really a funny thing. First, we laughed at the gum. Then we began to laugh at ourselves for laughing at the gum. Then we began to laugh at ourselves for laughing at ourselves for laughing at the gum. Then we began to laugh at ourselves for laughing at ourselves for laughing at ourselves for laughing at the gum. Then we began to laugh at ourselves for laughing at ourselves for laughing at ourselves for laughing at ourselves for laughing at the gum. And so on, and so on.

Now, it only takes for one of us to say, "Remember the gum?" or, "The Gum." for us both to crack up laughing. I enjoyed those fleeting, carefree times I spent with her.

I moved away that summer.

Remember those times, seemingly so long ago?
When we could laugh at what seemed like nothing,
But seemed very important to us?
When the wind blew past and we wouldn't have a care in the world,
But not really?
When we could just sit and be content in the others silence,
But we were really passing notes beneath our desk?

Can you remember?
I'd like you to not forget...
But if you did, and if you can't...
Then maybe I'll help remind you...
I hope you know you're still my friend...
Even if the distance between us is getting wider...
And the time between the times we meet is getting longer...
'Cause I remember.
And I hope I always will.

Well, I've had a new journal for a while now. The address is www.greatestjournal.com/~floatingxdreams

You are pink. You are in limbo. Not pure and manipulated like white, not impure and noble like red. You are unsure of your real identity, but whatever you chose it to be, you can be it. That is your power. You change everyone you touch, and everyone remembers you. In literature, pink represents the place between heaven and hell. You are the one we will never forget.

What inner color are you?